Mom2Mom, March 2003:
Wow! I have been a mother for 10 years!
It seems impossible, yet at the same time completely natural. Little did I know that motherhood would redefine my life.
Back in 1993, I knew the baby I was carrying would change my life. (At least I thought I knew.) I was prepared for the change he'd bring to my household. I wasn't prepared for the way he would change my heart.
All through my pregnancy, my heart was set on having a little girl.
I didn't really give much thought to the possibility of having a boy.
I knew all about little girls, heck I'd been one myself! I was sure I'd be taking home a pink bundle from the hospital, whenever the time came.
Well, the time came and the doctor happily announced, "It's a boy!" Do WHAT?
I'll tell you what: they placed my little son in my arms, a tiny blue cap on his cone-shaped head, and it took about 20 seconds for me to get over that baby girl thing!
In no time, I was falling completely in love with the idea of having a baby boy.
A BOY!! I HAD A BOY!!
How quickly my perspective and my perceptions changed. I could hold him, rock him, and stare at him forever.
He was such a perfect little miracle.
He was so small, but I knew from the moment he first looked in my eyes that I'd learn big lessons from him.
As he grew, things I'd always taken for granted, like flipping a light switch, took on a magical quality. I'd hold him up where he could reach it, and watch his little eyes light up when he'd flip the toggle up and down.
The moment a baby figures out a connection is a celebration, a validation of living and learning.
Everyone can see the physical changes a baby brings to a woman's body. But the real growth happens where people can't see it at a glance: it happens in your heart.
I never knew I could love something like I loved that baby boy.
And the biggest surprise was yet to come: as babies two and three arrived, I discovered that my heart just kept growing. I'd never realized before that our capacity to love just keeps expanding, like the ripple effect of skipping a stone on water.
In March 1993, eight pounds of baby boy changed my life forever... and most certainly changed my life for the better.
Happy Birthday, my sweet Zack.
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